Wednesday, 23 August 2017

20 years a Mum

So today is a special day for my one and only daughter - it's her 20th birthday and as well as this day of marking 20 years of having this very unique, special, kind-hearted, passionate, fiercely loyal and hilarious funny young woman in my life, this also means 20 years of being a mum. This is also my 200th post and so forgive me for this self-indulgent post but I couldn't not mark the occasion.

20 years as a Mum, 7 as a single Mum. 20 years service at my most rewarding, fun, frustrating job ever. 20 years of trying to set a good example, 20 years of trying to guide my daughter to the right path (whilst maintaining it was her idea!). This time last year I wrote my first personal post titled At risk of redundancy as a Mum after my daughter announced she was going to move out. And she did, with my blessing (and a very heavy heart). And how she has blossomed and so much so that, her and her boyfriend, are buying their first home. Thankfully it's just around the corner from me, so in a way I feel she's coming back home to me.

I always reminisce on her birthday, at how far she has come and matured and so on this, her 20th year, I want to share some of my best memories (some are a little sad but they are all memories that bond us together). 
  • The day you were born. You were such an easy and quick delivery but then proceeded 4 years of sleepless nights. I remember the day you were born as if it were yesterday. I had no idea then how much one person would change my life forever, for the better.
  • The day I was on the phone, looking out of the window watching you play with Bagly (boy opposite, his name with Bradley but you couldn't pronounce it) and I saw, in slow motion, as you ran to see Bagly and a car come on to the drive and nearly hit you. My life stopped in that moment. You were, thankfully fine, and I did the Mum thing of really telling you off, whilst sobbing my eyes out and clinging to you for dear life.
  • The day I bought a bright pink silky cushion for the sofa but you wanted it for your own. Kaka Gold, Kaka Pink, Kaka Blue (full name) has remained under your head at night ever since. She's had two rescue reconstruction operations but sadly now is on her last threadbare legs.
  • Every dance show you have ever been in. You made me so proud with your talent. I'm not talking about the one where the other girls were dressed as sparrows and danced in a very, very inappropriate way for their tender ages (I blame the Pussycat Dolls!).
  • Every time you went off to a kids club, sports camp, adventure week away with the confidence of someone far beyond your years and would come back telling me all about the new best friends you had made.
  • Flying to New York just the two of us and listening to music sharing the headphones on the plane.
  • You trying to teach me how to break dance in the living room. My ribs have never been the same since.
  • Our dance off at your Hawaiian themed 15th party. 
  • You, petrified, of walking over the wonky scaffolding on the Dubrovnik old town wall and me (scared of heights) talking you across and down.
  • The night your heart was broken and you sobbed until you fell asleep, next to me. I would have given anything to take that pain away from you then, and always will.
You've got your own little family now and will soon be moving in to your own home. I'll still be here, always your Mum.

Being a parent is the most selfless thing I have ever had to do. It is also the most rewarding and satisfying thing. We've laughed till we've cried, we've cried, shouted, screamed at each other but most importantly we've always been there for one another. You and me (and Kaka the cushion).
And to all you parents out there, single or not-well done and hang in there. 20 years will fly by in a blink of your eye.
xx

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