Saturday, 22 July 2017

Questions I need answering whilst watching Love Island


Yes I am one of the many millions who have been tuning in to Love Island every night at 9pm. For the past 7 weeks my life seems to have revolved around this nightly ritual (apart from the 10 days I was on holiday when I had a mid season cold turkey spat!).

And whilst many will say that Love Island is pointless, mindless and full of wannabe Z list celebs, prepared to do anything to get their shot at fame and a spread in Hello - I don't care, I love it. This year Love Island has come at just the right time. After all the horrific and awful events that our little nation has had to endure this year already, Love Island has come along like a comfortable and reassuring hug or a can of full fat coke and a bag of chip shop chips.

There's something fascinating about watching how the young people in the villa interact with each other, bond and make what seems to be genuine friendships and fall in love with a complete stranger after 48 hours. Love Island takes us away to sunnier climes and away from the drudge of every day life. And Iain Stirling, the voice over guy, is a comic genuis.

However, as I lose myself for an hour every evening (apart from Saturdays - why ITV2, why?!), I have many questions that consume my mind, as a female and as a mother. And they are:

1. How can the girls wear such extreme cut out bikinis and get no weird tan lines at all? I wear my t-shirt for the first 5 minutes in the sun and guaranteed I will get a farmer's tan which will last and show for the rest of the year, no matter how hard I sun bath. Case in point...
2. Why are the girls still fake tanning, after nearly 2 months on holiday, and also 5 minutes before going on a date? (Ahh maybe to hid the weird cut out tan lines?).
3. How have the girls got no nail re-growth? I imagine they've all had shellac or gels and at best I can get 2 weeks out of shellac/gelish before I have 2cms of bare nail, which looks so chav.
4. What does "melt" mean? Is it good or bad? I like a tuna melt baguette, so I imagine it's a good thing?
5. Camilla's eyelashes. WTF? If she's had extensions, she needs to sue them. If she's applying them herself, she needs to stop and/or take the old ones off first. How can she keep her eyelids open with the weight of them?
6. Who cleans the villa and garden and when? When we go on our family holiday, there are at least 4-6 adults and a child and we create a mess, just with the general debris that you leave around the place. There's lots of them in the villa and it's practically spotless.
7. Why don't you see any of them reading a book? Holidays are the only time I can get through a book or two and I love it. What are they doing with their time (fake tanning?).
8. How are the girls maintaining hair removal - I'm talking bikini lines, top lips. Again I can get away with just over a week on holiday, but that's the limit.
9. How can they only have one large and a little cabin case for, potentially 2 months? And why when someone is dumped from the villa, do they only take the big case with them, which appears to be very light?
10. Why do all the girls appear to be taking it in turns to wear Gabby's palm leaf earrings and her denim boots? That would piss me off, because I bet they're not wearing socks with those boots!
11. There only appears to be 1 bathroom for the whole villa and at least 10 people? We struggled with one bathroom for 4 people on holiday. And sometimes you need an isolated loo, if you get me!
12. Where are their beach towels?
13. Where are they getting their cigarettes from? When there are aerial shots of the villa, there are no mini marts anywhere close. Also are they just all sharing each others packets? And I wonder if anyone on spanish menthols has figured out how to work the clicky click?!
14. Same as above, who goes shopping and where is the nearest Lidl? Do they have a say in the shopping list?
15. And for god sake why, oh why, is the front door always left open? I know the villa is quite remote but that's just not safe. Even at night, there's a closing shot of lights out and the bloody front door wide open! I'd be shutting, locking and checking that at least 6 times.

Not really sure what I'll do when Love Island ends on Monday night. Get back to life I suppose!

xx

Love island picture courtesy of Lifestyle.one
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3 comments

  1. I'm just as obsessed with Love Island as you! I'm pretty sure they have a salon where all the men and women can keep their hair and nails in check. I also think they have staff to clean and shop etc. They also have a camera crew around as well I would imagine because they're being filmed out in the open a lot. Great post xxx

    Kiran - http://www.alittlekiran.co.uk

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  2. Melt means soft, like a wuss, it's definitely not a compliment. They have people doing their nails & for example the glitter party, people will have applied their glitter for them. They also have their dinner made, they make breakfast but not dinner, that's sent in I think or made. Life of Riley isn't it? It's so addictive & I love it!! Xxx

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  3. so I have not watched love island, (I have 15 + 17 year old sons, programmes like this make me see a glimpse of their future holidays, no mother should see that) but these points made me chuckle. Can I also add how fricking long are they actually on that Island? My twitter feed seems to have been full of it (until I muted "loveIsland) for about a million years! :-)
    You enjoy it while it lasts, why not xx

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